Cats…. Oh my. Listen, if you have anxiety and have cats, take a shitload of pills and pass the fuck out. If you don’t, BAM. You are going to think there is a serial killer in your walls. Seriously.
How do they do that?
How do they bounce off the walls but sound like they are inside of the wall?
And then, right when you think you’ve got this anxiety shit down, you hear foot steps. You were right! You were right! It wasn’t the cats, it’s a serial killer. This is it. Your life is over. Oh shit, kibbles and bits.
And then your five year old rounds the corner at 2 AM.
WHY ARE YOU EVEN AWAKE, BRO?
Can’t you see mommy is having a mental breakdown?
Well, shit, if your going to be awake come cuddle with me.
The cats won’t.
You know. That place you are on a random Saturday. Somewhere between sleep deprived and hungry.
Pro-tip: No matter what, always shower. It makes the mombiism SO much easier. I mean, don’t get me wrong… It’s gonna be hard. You’re gonna wanna scream and cry and pull your hair out. (Kind of like right now.) At the end of the day though, you aren’t going to need shower. See? Light at the end of the tunnel.
Want to know what my little crotch-fruit did today? They got into my VS perfumes. Anyone who knows me, knows how obsessed I am with VS perfume. You know what the little haters did? Sprayed them everywhere. I now have Crush scented dirty laundry, Noir scented kitty litter boxes, and Noir Tease scented bunk beds. Cool. The upside is my house smells amazing. The downside is that I don’t. In fact, I didn’t take a shower today. The hellions are destroying my house, room by room, and quite honestly I haven’t had time to even go to the bathroom.
My 2 year old just passed out and I sent the 3 and 5 year old to their rooms to take a napsie. They are in there right now, playing with our newest kitten. Yes, we got another kitten. One kitten for each boy and all the kitties are boys. I am grossly outnumbered.
There are perks to being the only lady in the house. No, I’m kidding. There are literally none. Zero. Zilch.
Ruh-Roh. My 5 year old just came out, “I’m thirsty”, followed by my 3 year old mimicking his exact words. Well, guess what kids? Mama’s thirsty too.