Okay. Here’s the deal. We have all had that one person, right? The words don’t accurately express the definition of the relationship in its entirety.
Obsession. Infatuation. Boredom compelled lust.
An uneducated and ill-versed individual would perhaps use the term “love”. However, the person who uses this term is a fucking idiot.
The point of this annoying-as-fuck blog post is to point out how ridiculous human beings are on emotional, sentimental levels.
We cling to a person who makes us feel good. We may use another person to “make us feel good” … know what I’m saying?
Let me break it down for you in the simplest way possible.
Being in a comfortable relationship and having sexual contentment are two entirely different issues.
It would stand that two issues could be in need of two very different individuals.
You could juggle a spouse and a side chick/dick.
But society tends to frown on this way of living… And hold the phone! Let me just rant about how fucking STUPID that is.
1.) Having more than one partner is a sin. Oh, SHUT THE FUCK UP already. Bitch! You sin everyday. In fact, the list of reasons your make believe daddy in the sky is going to send you to hell, is always accruing time and reasons. Kind of like interest on a car loan. You only live once… I don’t know why you wouldn’t want to get laid. Fucking freak.
2.) But I don’t believe in God. I think it’s just morally wrong. You know what’s morally wrong? Your fucking face! If you understood the principles of ethics at all, you wouldn’t say things like, “OMG Janet, that is like, sooooo morally wrong.”
Let me tell you something. Remember that time you watched Magic Mike and your lady bits tingled a bit? Outside of your relationship! *gasp* You are fucking morally deranged, yo.
(Just because you don’t act on it, doesn’t mean it isn’t all over your Medulla Oblongata.)
3.) Why would you cheat? Why not just leave your Significant other? Listen Linda, have you not heard the words I’ve been saying? I’m fucking comfortable. However, “comfortable” doesn’t really take the edge off my horny, know what I’m saying?
4.) Well you sound like a whore. Ehhh… you say tomayto, I say tomahto. I’m sorry that you aren’t comfortable with your sexuality. I know when I’m 50 I’m gonna have no ragrats for all the flavors I’ve tried. Meanwhile, you’ve been sipping on the same cruelty free, BPA free, natural, all-organic bottle of coconut water since 2007. Get the fuck outta here.
Annnnnnd, let’s face it. If its all up in your Medulla Oblongata already, then you might as well act on it. Live it up a little.
Get yo freak on.
Since you’re still reading this so far… let me give you a little something…
PRO-TIP: Leave the obsession and infatuation in the dust. Fuel yourself on that lust compelled through boredom. In the end, it makes it easier to enjoy yourself.
Or just be a prudent pile of no fun like Linda over there… but, if you choose that route;
You can’t sit with us.